But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
The Lord really pressed it on my heart to create a blog to encourage single mothers and women in general everywhere! My sincere hope is that you come to realize how beautiful, matchless, boundless, wide, and deep God’s love and grace is for us. Yes, us, as single mothers. I wasted years of my life feeling depressed that I am a single mother, young, and just starting out in life. I felt largely alone in raising my daughter Raegan. It is my heart’s desire that if you are a single mother, don’t buy the lies that your life is over, that you’re just another “baby mama,” that you will have to put your God-given hopes and dreams on the shelves and live in desolation. That is a lie from the depths of hell.
The biggest lie that I want to call out is the following: I’m doing this by myself, on my own, all alone. Why is this a lie?
You are NOT alone.
That’s right. You may be a single mother, but you are not alone in your parenting. If you are a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, you have the Holy Spirit that will lead and guide you in all things. So the big disclaimer to this post is that you must have given yourself completely over to God. He cannot lead someone who does not even believe He is there for them.
God really began to deal with me about my habit of bemoaning my situation back in 2014. I remember I was carrying like ten bags of groceries, my daughter Raegan, my purse that had my casebooks and laptops, and my keys to my apartment door. I was so mad that I had to do little things like carrying everything in the house by myself. That Raegan was in the middle of crying , and my keys kept getting caught in the plastic bags. That I was sweating. That my bag strap kept slipping off of my shoulder. I dropped a bag and literally roared in frustration! I cried out to God and said, “God!! I am so SICK of doing this by myself!! I am TIRED, God!” God responded, “You are not alone. I have given you my Holy Spirit.”
As always, God was totally right. Although my marital status spoke is single, I am never alone. Scripture tells us that God has given us an Advocate to help us, one that will be with us forever- the Holy Spirit of truth (John 14: 15-17). Jesus himself reassures us when he said “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:26-27). It is by this Spirit that we can raise our babies because He will show us what it is we are supposed to do.
The Holy Spirit does more than convict us when we are sinning. The Holy Spirit teaches us what to do and empowers us. Acts 1:8 tells us that we will receive power when the Holy Spirits comes on us.
You are empowered to mother your child.
My Life Application NIV Study Bible has some great footnotes that expound on Scripture. The footnote to Acts 1:8 states that the “power” believers receive from the Holy Spirit includes courage, boldness, confidence, insight, ability, and authority. This is definitely something I have seen in my own parenting journey with Raegan, where the Holy Spirit has literally led to do things with her that I would not have thought to do on my own. It is in this way I have seen 1 Corinthians 2:9-16 play out in my relationship with Raegan. God will reveal to you what to do by His Spirit, and He will endow you with true wisdom to handle your kids. Basically, we will have the mind of Christ.
Recognize that God is for you, He will not leave you, and His Spirit will lead and guide you. You need only to trust in Him. God has a beautiful plan for you and your babies.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.” Jeremiah 29:11-14
What I love the absolute most about Jeremiah 29:11-14 is the story that behind that promise. The kingdom of Judah was invaded by Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar twice in an eight year period. When King Nebby came through, they took people like Daniel and Ezekiel. Jeremiah sent a letter to the surviving Jewish elders among the exiles in Babylon. These exiles were in a bad place that they essentially put themselves in. They had refused to turn away from evil and instead chose to do their own thing, so God told them he would send King Nebs to get them (Jeremiah 25:1-11). They did this to themselves, and yet God still had good plans for them. He didn’t write them off. He didn’t say “See, that’s what y’all get.” He told the exiled Jews, through Jeremiah, to move on. Go ahead and build houses, settle down, plant gardens, and marry. He even told them to pray for the very people who took them captive. (Jeremiah 29:4-7). God told them, yes you messed up, but move forward with your lives, begin trusting in Me and praying to Me, and know that I till want the best for you in spite of your mistakes.
The same goes for you, dear mama. Maybe you messed up, like I did. I professed that I believed in God, and yet I continued to do the things that He told me not to do. I became pregnant, and I felt so guilty about that. Maybe you are divorced and a newly single mother. Maybe you never knew your child’s father, or you knew him just for a moment. But Jeremiah 29 provides a shining example to both you and me that even though we may not have made wise decisions in the past, it is time to move on.
Repent, accept God’s forgiveness, and forgive yourself.
Begin your life again. It is not over. It’s NEVER over with God as long as you have breath in your body. Begin praying for those who said they would be there, and they aren’t. Those who left you when they said they wouldn’t. Begin trusting God again for healing and that He will show how to do this thing called mommyhood. And know that He has good plans for you and your babies. The Holy Spirit will lead you and guide you.
He has graced you for this.