Hi, MBG community! You may have noticed that I tend to disappear for months (and sometimes years!) from social media. Sometimes my social media breaks are planned, and other times they happen spontaneously. Whether my breaks are planned or not, the reason why I post sporadically is because I struggle with social media. After wrestling with this struggle for a few years, I wanted to share my hesitancies in case anyone else shares the same reservations.
Do any of these feelings resonate with you?
1. I Want My Motives to Stay Pure, But I Can Get Discouraged by The Numbers
I never planned to go viral on social media while I was in law school – I shared my testimony as an act of obedience to God and to encourage mothers and women that they can do whatever God calls them to do by His grace. The next day, my post went viral and my account grew out of nowhere. It turns out there are so many women and mothers who needed encouragement.
But, something changed for me in 2020 — my follower count began to fall (and continues to do so to date), and I was lucky if even a few hundred people even saw my posts, much less liked or engaged with them. To be honest, it was really discouraging. I knew I shouldn’t care about the numbers, but it sucked to pour my heart into a post or video and see it do badly.
Still, I want to show up, offer encouragement and tips, share good finds that have made my family’s life easier, talk about life, and connect with all of you!
2. Social Media Tends to Commodify Humans, Not Honor Them
I am uncomfortable with the way people are reduced to ”products” by social media. Real humans, image bearers, are treated like products or items to be reviewed and liked/disliked. Think about it — people leave comments and stars as reviews on products on sites like Amazon, and we import and apply that same concept to social media when interacting with real humans. We even embrace the concept of being a “brand,” as if we are a bottled drink. I think social media can reduce us to consumable items when we were made for so much more.
On the other hand, it is helpful to know if a post resonates with others, and likes and comments allow me to hear from you all. I am trying to do a better job of engaging in the comments, but it’s tough to do with my family and work needing my attention!
3. I Don’t Want to Contribute to Mass Consumerism and Fast Fashion
I really love sharing and receiving recommendations for things like clothes and house goods and decor. However, I can’t help but feel that social media encourages people to chase the newest items, cycle through fast fashion, and buy too many items all around. Fast fashion’s impact on the environment and on society, in particular, is horrible, from carbon emissions to water usage, from forced and child labor to textile waste and microplastics. Social media helps to contribute to mass consumerism in a way that makes me very uncomfortable at times.
I do love sharing things and items that help, encourage, or inspire me, whether it’s house items and organization tools, or a good outfit for the office. I just want to share life with you all, but I want to do it responsibly and thoughtfully without feeding into greed. I know I won’t get it right all the time, but I want to try!
4. “Influence” and “Content” Can Be Weird
I’m not sure I fit into the definition of an “influencer,” simply because the term has become distorted. If someone is an “influencer,” you have to ask what are they influencing you to do ? Influencing you to buy more items than you need or can afford? Influencing you to rack up debt so you can catch flights and go on several trips a year? Influencing you to follow the crowd and not Jesus?
I also find the term “content” equally uncomfortable because it means we are feeding into consumerism more and further reducing people to items/things, and not complex image bearers of Christ.
5. Social Media is So Much More Complicated – Algorithms, Trending Audio, Oh My!
I am one of those millennials who miss the good old days of Instagram where people posted pictures of their food and sunset, and the feed was shown in chronological order and not driven by algorithms! Now, Instagram and TikTok are about seeking attention through views and engagement so that money can be made. Social media platforms push users to use “trending audio,” to post and engage more, and to follow trends by essentially replicating the same ideas/videos over and over. It is less about connection, and more about supporting the attention economy.
That’s not to say that I don’t notice positive changes on social media. I like the shift from perfectly curated photos and videos to more “real” posts, but I still think social media is much more complicated than it has to be.
6. Everything Is Not Content – I Want to Do Life With The People Around Me
I loved social media in my 20’s – I just loved sharing so much! As I grew older and my life became more layered, I realized that I was spending more time online than with people next to me. I focused a lot on the MBG community and neglected building community in real life at one point. I also noticed that I became driven by sharing photos of trips or special moments. By doing so, I was devaluing some of those moments in a way.
At this point in my life, I want you all to know I value you and I’m so glad we are connected. At the same time, I do not want to keep my head down in my phone interacting with people online more than the people right next to me. I also want to continue to keep some moments to myself and my family, to live in the moment and not behind my phone screen.
I will share a fun fact: I ran a half marathon for the first time in 2019, and never posted it online. It was something done just for me. Next time, I’d like to share my training online so others can join if they want!
7. There is Too Much to Lose
When I first started my online journey, I was a single mom to a toddler, attending law school and serving in church. Now, I’m a wife, a mother to four children, and a practicing attorney building clientele. With so much precious life to live in front of me, I want to keep it closely held.
……….
I have wrestled through these issues for nearly five years, but I think many of these issues can be resolved by me just focusing on my mission – encouraging you all to live by His grace. I am staying true to my purpose.
Thank you, MBG community, for sticking with me through the years (it’s been nearly a decade since a lot of you joined me on my law school journey!).
Hi Mel,
Thank you for graciously writing this piece. At a point when you were having a miscarriage, I was in a fast during that season and I kept thinking of you and I remembered sending you a message on instagram saying some prayers. Eventually, you announced your miscarriage and a rainbow baby, I just marveled at how God cares about his children. I have never met you, but I believe I have learnt a thing or two from you through social media. As you transition in every seasons of life, as long as you’re making an impact and priortirizing your relationship with God that is what truly matters. God may give you grace to share in a season and he may give you wisdom to withold from sharing in a different season. As we are graced, we can do more and greater works. Pertaining to your post, social media definitely has it’s pros and cons, depending on how you use it. My walk with God has deepened and my understanding about certain things have improved because some people opened up and shared gems on social media. On the contrary, it can be a lonely road and the enemy can also use it as a tool. I think we just have to be vigilante and focused on doing the business of our father at all times.
Not to make this a long post, I always enjoy reading from you and I wish you all the best in this season.
xx